


To Meander, Like a Snake to Water

by bachtoreality



Category: Metal Gear, Metal Gear Solid
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-15 23:36:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15424128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bachtoreality/pseuds/bachtoreality
Summary: His eyes burning into the man at the center of that crowd. There is this ferocious want to be in the center of that physical display. It's a feeling Kaz knows entirely too well. Jealousy, dark and unrequited. Everyone falls for John, it was something Kaz knew and was entirely guilty of.





	To Meander, Like a Snake to Water

It's always the same sounds, the crashing waves like small claps in the distance. Kaz doesn't get much time, much quiet at Motherbase, not with people to herd and officiating to be done. He can't go into the field- limbs missing and battered. That wasn't his place anymore. It was better this way.

Most of his time is spent signing paperwork and interrogating new recruits with an entirely too pleased Ocelot. The cowboy is all smooth charisma through it all. Although Kaz is entirely too aware how much Ocelot enjoys seeing men crawling beneath the break and press of cruel imagination. The glint in his eye, the fondness Kaz finds he only sees again when they are debriefing Big Boss.

Kaz can only imagine what the man would do to John if he only could. Somehow he gets the feeling that it's a different kind of bloodlust, a deeper need that torturing prisoners can only be an outlet for.

Big Boss is on the deck with a huge crowd around him that seems to only get louder with each hard hit that echoes out. He's training the combat unit again. From Miller's platform he can make out the brown and red of Ocelot's usual uniform. His eyes burning into the man at the center of that crowd. There is this ferocious want to be in the center of that physical display. It's a feeling Kaz knows entirely too well. Jealousy, dark and unrequited. Everyone falls for John, it was something Kaz knew and was entirely guilty of.

In the long dark nights he had realized it as he held himself in hand- imagining the hot searing calluses of a man so enigmatic.

There were moments when he thought that Big Boss might know. That he may see the lingering looks and the bursts of jealousy when he demands the removal of Quiet, or when he judges a recruit too harshly. If he does, he doesn't let on. Instead he hums his disagreement and moves on. If a single blue eye lingers too long, Kaz makes no note of it. Instead he spends most of his time putting out fires. Sometimes in a less metaphorical sense. Especially when the Man on Fire shows up yet again, Big Boss tries fleeing on D-Horse with zero back up support.

Kaz has his face in his palms as Ocelot keeps yelling over the radio to find a water source.

It is times like these that he realizes the only thing keeping him from murdering Ocelot in some form of humiliating public execution is because there is only one other person in the universe better at keeping Boss alive.

“I fucking hate your face, just so you know.” It's said through a gloved hand as Kaz rubs his face and stops to massage his pulsing temples.

“Rude.” The word is punctuated by efficient sternness. “Neither is it important, we've got bigger things to worry about.”

“Tell him to get some distance before getting on the helicopter.”

“He's going to need more than just distance.”

“I wasn't finished- he can use the field advantage, the higher vantage point. They should steer the combatant to the closest obstacle and engage him. There was a water tower, right?”

Ocelot gives him a stare, something akin to mistrust. It doesn't stop him from relaying the plan.

 

When Big Boss makes it back to Outer Heaven he looks haunted. Like the death and decay he had witnessed there was something completely different from the harshness of war that he lived through. He had seen a ghost, the long dead roaming with rage like a man on fire.

 

He doesn't confide in Kaz. Oddly enough, it is Ocelot who tells him the details. They're alone in the tactical planning office when the slow timbre of his voice rises, “That man made of flame. I suspect he is someone from John's past. I can't tell you who- just that he's bound to be back and he will tear through heaven and hell to kill Big Boss. Even if he has to destroy himself in the process. He's died once before...”  
Ocelot trails off, his perfect face pinched up in annoyance. It was understandable. Someone like Ocelot based his entire persona on being the one person to know everything- to be ahead of the game every inch of the way and suddenly he's in the dark. He can't even torture the guy, if he's a ghost.

Kaz grunts, something neither dismissive or permitting. Only an acknowledgement.

“I know you hate me, that you can not trust me. But there's only so much we can do without working together. If you really love John- and something makes me think you do- we're going to need to be thinking as a team.” Ocelot finishes his sentence, dusts of his pants and makes to leave.

Kaz's voice cracks as he says, “I do. Love him. We both do, right?”

“You're not nearly as stupid as you look, Kazuhira.”

Kaz ignores the insult, “how does a dead man come back to life?”

Without a beat, like he knows himself Ocelot responds, “with some specialized help, I reckon.”

 


End file.
